What’s Yours, What’s Theirs: A Field Guide for Sensitives
The Tangle
Some of us never learned where we end and others begin.
We didn’t learn it in childhood.
We didn’t learn it in school.
And we definitely didn’t learn it in families or relationships that depended on us to feel things for other people.
So we got good at it—blending.
Tracking. Adjusting. Absorbing.
We became attuned to everyone else’s weather, and over time, forgot what our own forecast feels like.
This post is for the untangling.
For the sorting.
For the remembering.
Image from Haute Stock
Signs You’re Holding What Isn’t Yours
You feel off—but can’t trace it to anything that happened to you
Your mood swings fast in reaction to other people’s tone or body language
You leave conversations feeling drained or emotionally scrambled
You take on guilt, urgency, shame, or grief without knowing where it came from
Your inner critic sounds like someone else’s voice
How to Tell What’s Yours
Your body knows.
“Did I feel this before I walked in the room?”
“Is this energy familiar to me—or does it feel like an intrusion?”
“Does this have a timeline or flavor that isn’t mine?”
Start asking. You don’t need perfect clarity. You just need awareness.
Awareness creates space. And space helps you sort.
Image from Haute Stock
What to Do When You’re Carrying What Isn’t Yours
1. Don’t shame yourself.
Your system did what it was trained to do. That doesn’t make you wrong. It makes you sensitive.
2. Say it aloud.
“This isn’t mine.”
“I don’t need to carry this.”
“I send this back to where it belongs.”
3. Ground + restore.
Touch something real. Put your hands on your body. Close your eyes and ask: “Where am I?” Then breathe from there.
A New Practice
You don’t need to build walls.
You don’t need to numb out.
You don’t need to become someone who doesn’t care.
You just need to remember:
You’re allowed to stay with yourself.
You’re allowed to leave what isn’t yours.
You’re allowed to stop being the filter for what others refuse to feel.
This is how we begin to come home again.
Want to go deeper into this kind of work?
Check out the energy support sessions or read the book How Not to Absorb Everything.
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